Changing

It's the last week of the first term in Japan. Everyone's getting final exams and papers done, and people are preparing to leave. The current topic of conversation between everyone (aside from how much revising they have or what they're doing in the Winter holidays) is how people have changed. A few people are saying how more open minded they've become, how much more outgoing they are, or are saying just how quickly they've managed to pick up Japanese.

This has got me thinking; what has changed about me? Am I any different from before? I find myself thinking a lot more about my future. I had originally planned to become an interpretor by doing the JET program before doing a masters in England on interpreting and translating in Bath. Now I'm not too sure. JET has a few horror stories, but mostly not incredibly positive stories, and it seems like University degrees are under threat from the Tories, so who knows if I'll even be able to afford a masters degree when the time comes. My Anthropology lecturer proffesor Hester is incredible, and although I've only had him for 3 months I've grown to really respect him like no other lecturer at Kent Uni. This has got me thinking about becoming an Anthropologist and moving to Japan. But likewise social stigmas towards foreigners amoung other stuff make me really wonder if living in Japan is really such a good idea.

Aside from thinking about the future more it's got me thinking about the past. At the beginning of the term I had a lot of pent up emotional stress from my now ex-best friend turning against and completly ignoring me for 9 months even though we were living together; and from my now ex-boyfriend who was just the worst person possible for me but I kept convincing myself that it would be get better and blah blah blah 7 months of missery later and I end it in a horribly guilty messy way...*Sigh*. But spending time away from all that had really helped clear it out. What's happened had happened and there's nothing I can do to change it. I think Japan has really helped me move away from that and learn from the mistakes that I made.

Then there's the present (which seems kind of appropriate considering it's almost Christmas). How has Japan changed me? I like I'm a lot more chilled here. I'm working a lot harder then I ever have done before and there isn't anything like AGS or AnimeSoc to relieve the stress so I think that gets built up and I'm less bouncy then I would be at Kent, but I don't think that's a bad thing. It's helping me to see that I just need to take it slow....I don't know if that makes any sense. I think the work and a greater stress on managing money is encouraging me to become even more responsible and giving me more of a desire to go out and explore as a relief method.

I think I'm still unclear on what has changed about me thanks to Japan, but I know something has. I also know (here's a warning to people back home), that although I still have 8 months to go and I'm missing everyone really badly, that when I do get back to England I am deffinatly going ot fall into depression from being apart from Japan which I've grown so familiar with. It really doesn't feel like I'm going to be here that much longer so I keep thinking that I don't have much time left when actually I do and I'm being silly.

Anyway. Random brief look into Jen's random mind, so feel free to ignore this rant. I think next time I'll give people much needed phrases you need in Japan ^-^